“A child sees everything in a state of newness; he is always drunk.”    ~Charles Baudelaire

 

Left: Part of a mosaic pavement with the personification of the month of April. Early 6th century, stone and marble. From Thebes, Chalkis, 23rd Ephorate of Byzantine Antiquities. Photo: © Hellenic Ministry of Culture and Tourism.

 ARTES, a fine arts magazine, tears headlines of some of the world’s biggest newspapers on this, April 1st, 2013:

FLORIDA SINK HOLE SWALLOWS BEER TRUCK, REVEALING TROVE OF PREHISTORIC CAVE PAINTINGS: BISON, WOOLY MAMMOTH, SEAL AND MORE…

SCHOLARS CLAIM ANCIENT NATIVE-AMERICAN CERAMICS DEPICT MOSES, TEN COMMANDMENTS: PROOF OF LOST TRIBE OF ISRAEL.

PAINT-BY-NUMBERS IS BACK! REPLICATE A POLLOCK MURAL-SIZED ‘DRIP PAINTING’ OF YOUR VERY OWN!

NEW TRANSLATION OF PICASSO LOVE LETTERS PROVES HE WAS NICE GUY, NOT A WOMANIZER. (see image, right, c. 1948)

POPE FRANCIS ORDERS SISTINE CHAPEL CEILING REVISION: HEAVEN-BOUND GAYS OK WITH HIM.

IMPRESSIONISM A BIG MISTAKE: WINE INDUCED NEAR-SIGHTEDNESS THE UNDERLYING CAUSE.

HALF-BILLION DOLLAR’S WORTH OF STOLEN ART ADORNS PHILLY PIZZA SHOP WALLS. WENT “UNNOTICED” FOR 20 YEARS. artes fine arts magazine

This being April Fools, we at ARTES couldn’t resist a little headline fabrication. But, at least one of these headlines may prove to be partially true. The FBI has recently announced that they may be close to solving one of the most infamous crimes of the 20th century. Having recently added Boston’s half-billion dollar Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum art grab to their Ten Most Wanted List, we are left to imagine where all that precious and highly-recognizable work may ultimately have ended up. Now, with the 199 Boston art theft making headlines again, the crime that dogged police and baffled experts has the art world buzzing about a possible break in the story.

The trail has gone cold many times over the years, but investigators now surmise that the art, including masterpieces by the likes of Rembrandt, Manet and Degas made their way through Connecticut, perhaps on the way to Philadelphia where it may have been auctioned off to the highest bidder. The burning question is: Who would want to own these highly-recognizable paintings? The international network of dealers, collectors and amateur art gumshoes are now as readily apprised of the latest in missing or stolen art as Interpol. Was the ultimate benefactor a Russian oligarch, a big city Mafioso with expensive taste, a nouveau-riche Silicon Valley computer billionaire with a secret underground playroom? Any or all of these come to mind. Or were they buried in a suburban backyard somewhere between ‘here and there’ until the heat was off? My scenario is that Rembrandt and Degas have been hiding in plain sight—a bin Laden tactic—in a Philly pizza joint. Poorly framed, sauce-splattered and hanging akimbo on dark-paneled walls above tattered menus and parmesan cheese shakers, the pilfered works have helped set a classic, Old World mood for the establishment. Out of their usual element, they went unappreciated by unsuspecting patrons, as a knowing owner continued to dish out tomato pies and cheese steak subs.

All joking aside, a few facts are in order regarding this important matter. The statutes of limitation have long since passed for prosecuting the thieves, though the government could still bring charges of receiving stolen property. But the FBI and the Justice Department believe the most important goal now is recovery, not prosecution. “With this announcement, we want to widen the ‘aperture of awareness’ of this crime to the reach the American public and others around the world,” an FBI spokeman said. “The successful return of the paintings to the Gardner Museum would be the final chapter in one of the most significant art theft cases in the FBI’s history. And it is a result we would all welcome—seeing these paintings returned to their rightful home.”

“It’s time for these paintings to come home,” said Anthony Amore, the museum’s chief of security. “You don’t have to hand us the paintings to be eligible for the reward. We hope that through this media campaign, people will see how earnest we are in our attempts to pay this reward and make our institution whole.”

The $5 million reward is not from the federal government. It was raised by the museum from private donors. The reward is certainly an incentive for someone to step forward, although the statute of limitations has expired for any arrests in the case. The museum just wants its art back—which is likely the point of the recent announcement. By saying they know who stole the artwork, and suggesting that they’re making good progress on the case, the FBI is probably trying to spook whoever currently holds the art into coming forward and making a deal—whether it’s a private collector, the thieves themselves, or the proprietors of some random storage facility somewhere. While the feds have suggested that they’d be willing to extend immunity in exchange for the art, that deal might not apply if the art isn’t voluntarily surrendered.

So the day may soon arrive when the empty frames that still hang on the walls of the Gardner as an homage to the once vaunted work-the Rembrandt, Degas, Vermeer and others may soon be returned. If a loyal ARTES reader thinks they may have encountered any of these paintings or drawings in their travels, you might like to know that the FBI has offered a $5 million reward for information leading to the recovery of the works. Just remember, you learned about it here and we’ll be happy to share in your good fortune when arrests are finally made. If your pizza delivery man is driving a Ferrari, you may want to follow him back to the restaurant and, this time, pay attention to the artwork on the walls. It could be worth your while.

The FBI has launched a new website detailing information about the Gardner theft www.FBI.gov/gardner

The FBI stressed that anyone with information about the artwork may contact the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324) or the museum directly or through a third party. “In the past, people who realize they are in possession of stolen art have returned the art in a variety of ways, including through third parties, attorneys, and anonymously leaving items in churches or at police stations,” said Special Agent Geoffrey Kelly. Tips may also be submitted online at https://tips.fbi.gov

Best,

Richard Friswell, Publisher and Managing Editor

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